Feng Wei Wee

FENG WEI WEE (Authentic Taiwanese Cuisine), my friends, is fucking grade A, authentic Taiwan cooking at its classic best.

Why you may ask why I arrived at this sweeping and very authoritative sounding claim on this hole in the wall restaurant as fucking grade A, authentic Taiwan cooking at its classic best?

Well let me count the ways….

1) I am a very gullible person and if the place says that it is authentic, then fuck it, it is authentic. Amen.

2) My claim on its authenticity is hinged on my wife’s statement (who’s claim of being an authority on Taiwan stuffs and shit is based on her overnight stay in Taipei eating hot 7-11 dimsum for a real Taiwan dinner) that the ambiance, food, and the people looks Taiwan all right for her.

3) The fucking joint is full of Chinese speaking, Chinese looking people. I look Chinese myself but I know nothing of the language. I go there and it is only my family, the waitress, and I who look different and does not understand the characters pasted on the walls. All customers, except us, communicate with the owners in Chinese. And here’s what I observed in a Hitchcock-ly manner using side glances as a tool: they hold the chopsticks very differently! I know how to use chopsticks but the way they manipulate the freaking sticks is just very much different. Like Jet Li or Jackie Chan in an old china noodle house setting. I bet they can use chopsticks to finish off their soup! Such grace and skill.

4) Chinese are known for their entrepreneurial creativity and what is more creative by squeezing in a food stand offering, guess what, Taiwanese canned goods, food mixtures, and goodies in the already cramped small space.

5) Viands displayed in the counter are arranged in rows giving customers that visual feast that translate into watering mouths and space jostling to save on tables in the cramped place. As you sit after ordering, they serve good refreshing tea. Is it jasmine tea? I am not sure. But it is good tea. And just like in any Chinese restaurant, it is free.

6) I was told upon inquiry that their rice comes from Taiwan. The way they cook rice is very traditional and steep with rituals. I saw a giant rice cooker beside the counter and they just scoop the steaming heap of rice upon order and place it in a plastic Chinese inspired bowl. The braised ox tongue retained that tender toughness that requires chewing to really bring out the innate flavor of the meat. The pork ribs are enough to satisfy the palate with its savory sauce. I am sure there is a tinge of star anise in the mixes which I abhor but I just let them get away with it because of the sum total of the taste which is just very enjoyable.

7) They have vegetable meals that shout, “Hey, I am Chinese cuisine.” I seldom eat vegetable but they have one that looks like bamboo shoot but it is not that I eat. The noodles are grand and very tasty and their dimsum is just right for any Taiwanese, I guess.

Chinese food literature history tell stories of emperors going out of their way in search for the best food and they always end up in the hut of a peasant, unknowing of their guest’ stature, offering simple foods that rock the emperor’s palate and the kingdom.

It is the simple caressing taste, very reasonable prices, environment friendly take-out containers, and it’s just fucking less than 2 kilometers from my place, that makes Feng Wei Wee really a treat.

Feng Wei Wee
Banawe Avenue
Quezon City

Grilled Pork Belly Daze

I am still reeling from last Sunday’s grilled pork belly fiesta fanfare that I personally grilled to the best of my ability to make it look and taste perfectly juicy with that crunchy thin strip of pork skin just hanging on to the “gate pass to the afterlife” pork fat that separates the skin from the more healthier meat part.

I am still dazed (like a hang-over without the splitting headache) with the back of my neck experiencing numb pain due to the suicidal “all you can eat” attitude attacking that perfectly looking juicy and crunchy grilled pork belly dipped in a mixture of vinegar (the simple Datu Puti/Sinilver Swan type variety), sprinkle of salt, lots of crushed fresh garlic, and a finger of hot chili pepper (optional). I thought the vinegar mix will break down the pork fat and turn it into fiber making it healthier. It was just my imagination.

It was around 11:00 am, a Sunday, when I started the charcoal burning and carefully, delicately studied the surface of the pork belly if it has that balanced yin and yang spread of salt and a dash of Professor Kikunae Ikeda’s infamous controversial fifth taste discovery that continues to raise the discussion around the world, the umami, also known as Monosodium Glutamate (MSG). And I do not want to delve into the fucking debates on the dreaded MSG. It’s just a dash of MSG anyway. You can jog, briskwalk, walk, wallclimb, prolong the foreplay before copulation to bring out maximum sweat, though I am not even sure if sweat will bring out the dreaded MSG from your body. But at least, suggested activities will have an effect to the psyche psychologically.

I prefer the basics in terms of marinating the pork to bring out its fullest potential and not be covered with sauces that hides the real essence of the pork’s taste.

Anyway, once you feel that “free wheel burning” heat that might remind you of that Judas Priest song, carefully use a thong to pick up the pork belly and line them up, carefully, one by one, on the grill. The secret, motherfuckers, to get that crunchy well donenessque full of flavor pork belly is to continually turn the meat every two minutes or less, depending on the heat. DO NOT leave the grill! Keep your eyes on the pork or the charcoal might work on some flame throwing exercise that will burn the precious pork, raising another debate on cancerous burnt meat and its effect on the ozone layer.

Once it turns golden brown, then it is done.

The Miele Guide #*&%!

Beauty magazines makes you look ugly. And fuck those best food/restaurant guide lists!

Media is a tool utilized by the ruling class (that also controls the political, economic, and social aspect of society) to control the minds of the people to believe in whatever they want to dictate to ensure the survival of the system and maintain their hold to power. They use different tools and methods to make it appear that scientific process comes into play to arrive at empirical data that will in turn be interpreted as the determinant of what is the best, the uber, the grandest, in this blog's case, restaurant this side of Asia and the Philippines.

The Miele Guide I think represents this class arrogance as it jot down names of restaurants like a list of who's who in the society pages bumping asses with each other. As roll called by Miele Guide, the restaurants are all high-nosed chicken shit elitists, though some writers claim that some are middle ranged. I dont fucking care about the middle range claim! Even the so-called middle class (if there are any in this highly economically polarized society) wont reach the place because

1. it will require a private car or a taxi ride to reach the place depleting the already meager resources of the "middle class" for that middle range priced restaurants;

2. the restaurants' location is intimidating for the masses with its ambiance and aura that are known to look down at people who does not have that "i eat gourmet shit and can differentiate a pinot from a merlot table chauvignon fillet mignon wine" look.

Who gets to vote for these restaurants? I sure am not one of those chosen ones.

siomai

Bagamat matagal-tagal na rin akong kumakain ng siomai sa tanang buhay ko, nagsimula lang ako magkainteres na hanapin ang pinakamasarap na siomai sa kalakhang Maynila nuong matikman ko ang siomai na tinitinda sa likod ng University of Santo Tomas (UST)

Isang simpleng estante na nagtitinda ng dalawang uri ng siomai, pork at saka sharksfin, at gulaman na nagsisilbing pantulak sa bumabarang siomai sa mga nabibilaukang parokyano ng tindahan. Una ko itong natagpuan ng minsang napadaan ako at nakita ko ang naguumpukang mga estudyante na di magkandaugaga sa pagbili at pagkain ng siomai. Animo'y na-duduwende ang mga bumibili at nagkakagulong umorder ng tatlo, apat na order (isang order ay P11.00 kada tatlong (3) piraso) at nilalantakan na mismo duon sa lugar, bagamat yung iba ay inuulam pang-hapunan.

Masarap ang siomai dito, lalo na kung gutom na gutom, at ang mas masaya ay ang presyo nito na parang hindi naaapektuhan ng implasyon at pandaigdigang resesyon at hindi pa nagtataas hanggang ngayon (o baka tapat lang ang tindero sa itinakda niyang halaga na nakapinta sa kanyang rolling store o baka tinatamad pintahan ng bagong presyo).

Kaya sa kada baba ko ng LRT, kada pasok ko ng mga mall, at kada lakad ko sa mga lansangan ng Maynila, hindi ko mapigilang tumigil at tikman ang mga tindahan ng siomai sa mga tabi-tabi na maaaring masabing "the next best thing sa siomai"para sa akin.Sa hanayan ng mga siomai, eto so far ang madalas kong mabili at makain, dahil na rin sa dalas ng pagdaan ko sa mga estante nila.

1. Bernabest Siomai (LRT stations)

2. Master Siomai (LRT stations)

3. Likod ng UST (check out photo)

4. Siomai sa tapat ng Our Lady of Fatima Church, Cordillera, Q.C.

(repost from www.patchworkkwentos.blogspot.com)

ooking cooking

Ponso cooking hamburger patties early in the morning.

(repost from www.punkrocktatay.wordpress.com)

Maty's

It was a motorcycle diary trip with my co-teacher Bok Pioquid last October 13, 2009 as we motor through the southern cities of Metro Manila coming from a meeting in Muntinlupa. My mind wandering looking at the city sceneries feeling like fucking Che Guevara as he transcended his class consciousness via his motorcycle trip around South America with his buddy Alberto Granado.

But I am no Che and I just want to check out the southern scene of Las Pinas and Paranaque. Good thing my esse, a true blue Las Piñas hommie, knows the area's shit. We passed by the Bamboo Organ Museum at St. Joseph's Church and learned that a certain St. Ezekiel Moreno once served as parish priest of the church. No Shit! A saint from the bamboo shoot organ church. Mind buggering! I thought it was only Lorenzo Ruiz and some unknown Dominican Spanish friars who stepped on the Philippines and became saints. Fucking have to check my church history books and shit.

But the story, liver lover boys, I should say, boils down to food. Its the Tapsilog story retold many times over again as we streaked through Quirino Avenue on the way to Paranaque's famous Don Galo area for their TAPSILOG. Freaking rows of tapsilogan stores line the Don Galo strip claiming to be the original shit. But it is Maty's I think that is used as a benchmark on what really is good Tapsilog this side of the metropolis (based on Bok's articulation of what is a good tapsilog fare).

Maty's is an unassuming restaurant that offers the typical menu of whatever stuff then suffixed with a SILOG (for Sinangag and itlog). We ate at the first Maty's coming from the Las Pinas area (there are three Maty's along the strip but was informed that the first was the real thing and the second, and third, are bollocks).

The TAPSILOG is not monumental in terms of taste. The egg is an egg is an egg. Its fried. The fried rice is fried with garlic. And I think it is not even a classic leftover rice from last night. They just cook plain rice then cook it again with oil and garlic. The tapa is tapa straight up. Its beef though sometimes, horse meat is also served, maybe. Side soup is commendable though.

What is crazy is the dip. Man, it's an art preparing it the Parañaqueño way! Like a delicate shaolin sword moves, one mixes salt, chili pepper, ketchup, and vinegar in swift strokes to get the balanced preferred taste of the artist dip mixer where you dip your tapa, or tocino, or bangus, or bbq, or whatever viand+silog that you ordered.

Maty's
0395 Quirino Avenue
Don Galo, Paranaque City

Eightfold Lounge

The sinful crunch followed by the soft succulent pork meat that can almost melt in your mouth still lingers in my palate and imagination. I never heard of a Thai cuisine restaurant serving crispy pata but eightfold lounge can get away with it. No shit. Who cares if they eventually decide to serve laing pizza or kebab and still call their restaurant a Thai-asian restaurant as long as the food is great. Masterful Venerable Buddha would not mind Im sure. They make a mean pork and tuna sisig, sizzling hot you'd jump over to Manila bay or guzzle all the beer and wine to quell that kick that comes from the hot spiced sisig.

eightfold lounge offers a variety of thai-asian food. The menu and the cooking does not intend to shock one's food sense but is more downright honest in reaching out and maintaining the familiar with the Filipino palate. It must be the Asian tag that gives Eightfold Lounge the leeway to offer Filipino food like crispy pata and sisig. Hell yeah, that's the trick. The hyphen (- Asian)

And of course motherfuckers, believe me, they serve thai food. Otherwise, it would just be Asian food minus the Thai (-). Although Thai food is definitely asian by categorization, I am a bit lost on the categories but with the post-modern thing, i'll just let the food do the talking. They serve a malupet and wasak ang panlasa mo sa sarap Chicken pandan, pomelo or mango salad, and Pad-Thai thus still making eightfold lounge primarily a Thai cuisine restaurant. I never got to taste or learned the other food. Honestly I tried reading their menu and plan to retain the food line-up in my mind but it was washed by the raging beer that wiped everything I planned to remember for this blog. But,

the location is great for chilling and relaxing where one can wait and check out the Manila bay sunset while sipping cold San Miguel Beer. I think they have a good collection of wine (I just think because I know no shit on wine and anyway, I observed how my cousins guzzled the wine bottle by bottle, and because the wine bottles looked good arranged in a row inside the wine cabinet) reasonably priced (Merlot, Cabernet Chauvignon, etc.)

The beer, as always, we have no choice, its a fucking San Miguel monopoly.

Namaste.

eightfold lounge
San Miguel by the Bay
SM Mall of Asia

to contact: just meditate and the Boddhisatvas will lead you to the 8fold path to the bay.

Biggest Burritos, Ever.

The biggest burrito, EVER!

Imitating my three year old son Ponso’s sentence structure of adding ‘ever’ to impress the immensity of whatever he is describing, the entry of RISTRAS in the mex/tex-mex/cal-mex/cal-tex/petron/shell genre changed the Philippine restaurant landscape scene, EVER!

The BURRITO…the burrito is so freaking wasak BIG it can feed five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred people. No shit! It is so big and tightly packed with everything that is required to meet the requirement of becoming a burrito. One is given the privilege to choose beef or chicken (beef is the bestseller, survey says) to jump into the Mexican lumpia. But make no mistake about it esse, it might look like a Filipino fresh lumpia but it is not lumpia. It is a jumbo burrito! Dips for the giant burrito include jalapeno (green and very űber hot), salsa, and garlic sauce. I close my eyes as I bite the burrito savoring the exploding mix of tastes. It was very, well, Mexican for my lack of gourmet terms to describe the food.

I got excited seeing rows of foreign looking beer in RISTRAS’ Frigidaire, as we call it in the Philippines, or refrigerator, or chiller but freaked out when told its 200-450 pesos a pop depending on the bottle size. Anak ng pu talaga! Nahilo ako talaga sa kaartehan ng presyo ng beer. Magiging ginto ba ihi ko at maisasanla pag iyon ang ininom ko? I know that San Miguel Beer is the best beer in the world. My grandfather said so, my father said so and it is my filial duty as a dutiful Asian son to believe and respect their decision with reverence (as I happily sour grape thinking what is in store inside those dark lager bottles).

I like RISTRAS.

RISTRAS

J. Abad Santos cor. Lopez Jaena Sts.

San Juan City

Table Chaos